I know how you feel, Catelyn

Ask me why I continue to indulge myself with Game of Thrones even after I know that one of my favorite characters isn't going to make it.  Even before I picked up Storm of Swords, I knew this was going to happen.  I knew Catelyn Stark would be monumentally screwed over by some creepy old king who decided he wanted vengeance on her son's refusal to follow through with a marriage alliance... but really, screwed over by the fact that her son no longer had allies.  And all she wanted was to be a Mom and support her son and bring her daughters back and get her family back together.  And she died with this gross image that her kids were either dead, most likely dead, or screwed over to the point where they might as well be dead.  What a life, being a woman who took things with unquestionable honor and duty to her family, only to die and not see the fruit of your labor do amazing things.

I can't say I know how that feels, but I've had a pretty rough month where I've felt that no matter how hard I try to please and go about my duties, I'm always letting someone down, or letting myself down.  I haven't been able to do much drawing this past month, or writing for that matter, but I'm hoping that now with Winter slowly thawing out... I can pick myself up again and go running outside and put a new smile on my face.  This "graphic novels" class I'm taking has really pushed me to do some drawing, even if it is the small weekly assignment, but it's helped me push my creativity.  And I'm in love with Bollywood Groove, taking it on Saturday mornings to start my day.  :)  

Perhaps I will finish this Storm of Swords and then take a break from the series until Season 5 comes out, and then start the reading cycle all over again. 

Starting 2015 with a commission and story ideas!

January was cold, as usual, but it felt pretty good to get back into illustration after almost 6 months of not doing much.   This was for my roommate and her best friend.  =D

It's not just the day-job, I've noticed. It's mostly me just having a hard time with fleshing out my own ideas.  For some reason I find it harder to progress on a long-term project I have created from the ground up, than writing about/critiquing/adapting something that's already out there in the world.  I feel it might be a mix of worry and fear - fear that these ideas will not be taken seriously or that someone might've come up with a better version of it.

That's kind of what happened to me when I picked up Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor.  The series was awesome and very much the type of Gothic, dark-toned fantasy world I wanted to create for a set of characters in my head:  "Chicago, 1928.  Twin gargoyles grow up as human kids because of the man who adopts them."  Granted, the story I had was much more adventurous and less romantic than hers... but still, she beat me to it (especially with the artsy protagonist) only because I hadn't completely written it down! Maybe someday, before 'Dark Teen Fantasy' makes a new boom in the market, I'll write it all out and feel less intimidated.  =/

One great thing is that I finally joined a Writer's Group in the city, thanks to the people I met at the SCBWI conference in November.  I shared my idea for the children's book, This Old Opera House, which I've had saved on my computer forEver... and they really liked it!  I think the tough part is the revision and making it age-friendly to a particular age group.  Right now, it's set up as a picture book with rhyming text (which is an impressive skill to have, believe it or not!), but the maturity of the story makes it directed for older kids, like middle grade.  So... the question lies on who do I want to tell this story to?  Should it be a picture book?  Or should it be a full middle grade novel centered around a house that kids emotionally attach to?

PLUS... I've had this amazing idea for a series, that I just started putting together notes for this last month.  I won't get too into detail because it's so precious and so new and raw... I feel like talking about it will jinx the creative process.  Basically, it's a historical fantasy novel, in the same format I was thinking of doing the gargoyles story... but totally different story and mythology. :D  So good!  Hearts are everywhere.

Anyway, those are the two major projects I'm working on.  I'm also keeping myself positive by taking a "Drawing the Graphic Novel" class, to feel more comfortable in visualizing what I write, making the text match an image.  I'm excited to actually start putting together real work based on homework assignments.

Happy first month of 2015!

Year in Review

"I've become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue.  Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live.  If I'm able to, then perhaps I'll be closer to portraying a true expression of love."   -Hayao Miyazaki

I always like to end my year with a quote, something that I want to take with me into the next one.  I thought this quote was exceedingly appropriate, because it encompasses a lot about how I want to make characters in stories - both in writing and in art.  Bryan Konetzko quoted Miyazaki after he publicly stated that Korra and Asami were a couple at the end of the Legend of Korra - that image of the two of them being not just the final shot of the entire series, but the Avatar: The Last Airbender universe (as far as Bryke has stated).

While I wasn't expecting them to be a romantic couple by the end of everything - personally, I just wanted Korra to have a gal-pal - I'm glad that Bryke did something completely bold in their storytelling to encourage same-sex relationships in kids' television.  It's not brand new, since Glee had Kurt & Blaine and Adventure Time has long hinted a relationship between Marceline and Bubblegum... but this is a main character!  It brought viewers to tears when the Korra and Asami held hands and stepped into the Spirit Portal, because it brought hope to this 21st century generation of kids that yes, LGBT relationships do exist and should be respected as any other boy-girl romance in stories.  It's also cute that Korra and Asami started out fighting over the same boy.  =)

Anyway... this year has been a tough one, to be honest.  Not as tough as 2011, but a lot of things have crossed my mind about adulthood and it's kept me awake at night with questions.  But I've had a great year with some wonderful highlights:

• ART/WRITING - not as much as I've wanted to do this year, but I did attend the Prairie Writer's Day Conference to network with a bunch of aspiring children's authors and illustrators.  It was a bit "cart-before-the-horse" for me, since I didn't have a real writing sample or portfolio to showcase for childrens' literature, but I did get to pass out some awesome business cards and get my art reviewed by Eliza Wheeler.  According to her, I just have to incorporate more of a background in my illustrations and show dimension with visual storytelling - no different from sequential art.  Highlight: I did an illustration for Lucy Knisley and her husband as a wedding gift!  Goal: write/revise/pitch a full novel, and to make weekly illustrations.
• FITNESS - running is still going strong!  Back in September I accomplished a second marathon, running non-stop this time in St. Charles, IL and cutting my marathon time by 2 minutes!  I also ran the hot-chocolate 15K, which was an okay experience in race organization-standards, but the chocolate was delicious.  I also did the usual Turkey Trot with Dad and friends for ThanksGiving, and it felt overall very nice to continue with running.  I'm a legit marathon runner now!  :)  Goal: work on my upper body, and prep for an international marathon in 2016 (place TBD)
• EMPLOYMENT - After 3 years of pursuing a full-time gig at a creative institution, it finally happened this summer at Columbia College!  Granted, it's in a department I didn't think I would ever be in, but I love the responsibilities I'm getting as an outreach coordinator for financial services, and after 6 months into the position, the job anxiety is slowly fading.  I just really need to "study" what I do and not feel intimidated about asking questions.  It's a lot, but I'm so happy with this job.  Second City is still going, a few hours a week, but I'm giving myself 'til the end of Spring 2015 to let it go so I can move on to other commitments. Goal: become more familiar with Student Aid & Marketing
• FINANCES - I paid off my student loans (yay!) and am finally starting to save $$ with the new job!  Goal: start researching on investments and buying a house.
• TRAVEL - I got to go somewhere unknown this year... Portland, OR... for my 30th birthday, which was definitely my kind of town.  I also flew to Colombia to spend time with relatives during the World Cup and watch our Team go as far as they've ever gone (yay James Rodriguez!), and visited the hot springs of Santa Rosa.  Good times!  And for the holidays, I road-tripped with the family to Virginia Beach to spend quality time with the Mazueras.  A good travel year, overall.  Goal: go somewhere new and warm, like Argentina.
• READING - I noticed that the trouble I had this year was finding books I wanted to read.  I liked Raina Telgemeier's graphic novels, as usual.  I tried Lord of the Rings, but set it aside, and also tried Ocean at the End of the Lane and Gone Girl, but they just didn't stick with me.  But... I finally got a hold of "Daughter of Smoke & Bone" by Laini Taylor and couldn't put it down.  I went through all three books in less than 2 months.  And now I'm back to Game of Thrones with Storm of Swords.  Goal: to read a non-fiction and a classic.
• HOBBIES - I got to do some voice work finally!  It started with a workshop at a studio in March, but then I started getting mentored by a Radio professor at Columbia College, and she's been coaching me ever since.  I'm putting my first Demo together, and I'll be taking a voice-over class in March!  Goal: to have fun with voice-over and to not see it as a profession, but a hobby.
• FAMILY - This is always the tough one for me.  I could talk more to them and not feel intimidated.  I did a lot of crying this year, mainly with adulthood just stressing me out, so I need to feel comfortable with them.  We're all going through life-changes right now, so I think it's best that we just stay in touch and support each other.  Goal: to call Mom & Dad once a week.
• LOVE - I take it back, THIS is always a tough one.  I've had a crush on this guy for 6 months to whom I've shared absolutely zero communication with.  I can do better than that.  Maybe I'm just not ready to fall in love.  Or maybe I'm just not the "falling in love" type?  I can't take any relationship seriously if I don't take myself seriously first, and that's what I've been working on for 30 years.  Goal: to bring out the best in myself next year so I can get boys to notice the happy me.

And well... now that my commitment to the Avatar: The Last Airbender universe has come to its conclusion after 7 years of nonstop cosplay/art/fanfiction... I can now fully dedicate myself to Game of Thrones!   Well, not exactly to that "fandom" extent, but I'm still reading the books and watching the show, and... it's awesome!  

Yeah, reviews - I wasn't kidding!

I know it's been exactly one day since my last post, but I still wanted to make sure I got these out of the way, because they're just as precious to me.

First off, let me tell you a little about this short called "Duet" by Glen Keane - a Disney Legend.



I happened to watched it online before there was all this hype to it, fell in love with the simplicity of the chalk-like animation, slightly forgot about it... and then a week later, at the start of a very rough work week, it shows up on my phone as an 'interactive 3D animated short.'  You have to hold your phone and move the phone to follow along with what the screen is showing you.  0_o   The whole story was the same, but something about this second time made it feel less cheesy.  More real.  And heartwarming.  I had tears in my eyes.

It's a tale as old as time in the span of 3 minutes: boy meets girl as babies, they grow up leading separate lives... but 'brush' each other in small, intricately special moments and you can tell they have a connection without a single bit of dialogue spoken.  There's curiosity.  There's affection.  By the end of it, they're together, and the universe is as it should be.  Whenever I have a rough moment at work, I think about this work of art, and it just gives me hope.  Brilliant work.  10/10.

Another thing I almost forgot to mention was Legend of Korra Book 4: Balance.  The Final Chapter.



Okay, I will say I had a couple gripes about this last season having a very lousy marketing campaign.  It's like Nickelodeon higher-ups had too many new shows to worry about and they wanted to toss the last few bits of this franchise out for the fans to move on to bigger, sillier, more Nickelodeon-y-er things.  And I get it.  It's a business.  You see that your target-age audience for your channel is not exactly the audience that's watching this show, and it's a bad investment.  And that's exactly what's going on with Korra.

I look at the ratings when Korra first premiered in April 2012 with over 4.5 million viewers, and things seem to have gone downhill since then.  Right near the end of Season 3 back in July 2014, with just over a million viewers watching per week, it didn't surprise me when there was an announcement that the remainder of the season would be shown online.  And I was like, "fine, okay, I can deal with that."  The ending happened, and poor Korra is left recovering from poisoned and incapable of being Avatar.  Just before I even have the chance to get back into regular life, there's a a teaser trailer for Season 4, which premiered in October of this same year.  And it would all be online.  0___0   Ratings didn't matter anymore.  Nickelodeon just wanted this show out as quick as a cold.

In terms of quality, I will admit that Korra has had its weak points.  Multiple villains, toying with original Avatar Spirit World mythology, Varrick.... (x____x)... but you know what?  I kept watching it, and I love what Mike and Bryan have brought to this world in terms of visuals and action sequences and bringing a true girl protagonist to light with her strength and flaws.  Book 4 shows Korra running away from her weakness by pretending to be strong, fighting underground rumbles and then getting some guidance from Toph to lose that weakness to focus on her Avatar abilities, and to not be afraid of failure.  This season's villain is a dictator: Kuvira.  Her motivation is different from the anti-bending revolutionary Amon, the spiritually corrupted Tonrak, and the anti-authority nonconformist Zaheer.  What Kuvira wants is to make everyone part of the Earth Kingdom (no different than what Fire Lord Sozin wanted in Avatar) and she believes she can do it with exploiting spiritual energy.  She's a tyrant, but she's very convincing about not being one.

This final chapter is supposed to bring closure to a lot of questions about how the modern world will function with an Avatar, with the Spirit portals open, and with all the potential corruption that society shall continue to bring... but really deep down I just want to know who fathered Toph's daughters.  =)   I don't think we'll get any of those answers, but whatever.

It's been almost 8 years since I first committed to this Avatar universe, so it's nostalgia that's kept me going, and an appreciation for the Avatar world and hoping that by the end of it everything gets a decent ending.  Yeah, we know Aang and Katara made it, and their kids turned out alright (though I still don't get the purpose of Kya...) and maybe in a small distant universe Old Katara and Old Zuko might have a thing... but that's just my wishful thinking.  Anyway, I'm upset that Mike and Bryan haven't gotten the appreciation they deserve from this show/universe, but I'm glad they're putting together a decent ending with Korra for the committed Avatar fans.

Only a few episodes left to go!

=)

Lots of Reviews! Holy crap!!

I've been putting off the drawing lately, due to my being super stressed about the holidays, a writer's/illustrator's conference and my new job still being somewhat new to me, but you know what?  I've still been able to get tons of inspiration from animation lately.  

First, let me tell you about BIG HERO 6.

Oh my goodness.  Disney, how do you do it?  How do you make me get all the feels over some silly robot and its relationship with a 14 year old genius kid?  I went to see this on my own due to the hype being way too much for me to put it off any longer, and it all made sense.  Disney is luring away from its reputation of just being all about fairy tales and princess stories by giving the boys a bit to awe over.  Science.  Engineering.  Superpowers!   Not to say that girls can't be interested in that, but let's face it- it's hard to get boys into Disneyanything because boys are all about video games and phones and absolutely nothing cute nowadays.   So in this case, the main character is a boy, who is a whiz at video games and gets bored all the time because things come so easily for him.  He is finally pushed to do something with his brilliance by his older brother, who tragically dies too soon in the movie and gets you even more hooked on the characters.  This story isn't just about a boy, really, it's about a team of kids working together to make themselves superheroes through science and teamwork, but not forgetting about the heart of superheroism (represented by Baymax the robot): doing good.  The movie is also encouraging kids to study hard and get into the STEM fields.  Really.  I'd watch this again just for the action sequences.  Good job, Disney!  9/10.

Now, on to my second film: The Penguins of Madagascar.

I didn't know much about the Madagascar universe, but I can easily recall these penguins as being a highlight to anything I knew from that universe.  You have the somewhat-functional leader, the brains, the loose cannon, and the mascot... and they go on dangerous missions as penguins without thinking things through because they're "rejecting nature" and they want to have a hell of a lot of fun.  That's all you really need to know about this movie.   The story isn't that original, but the action sequences were great, the new characters were great, the villain was decent, and the dialogue was so much fun.  7/10.