Thursday, January 31, 2013

Owl City


I'll be seeing him in a couple weeks!  So excited!

I got back from an overnight trip to Boston today, interviewing/considering a position with MATCH tutoring after almost 2 years of steering away from anything remotely education-related.  It was strange walking through the school in Lawrence, with my former boss being all optimistic about my skills and my potential to do something great in Chicago with MATCH.  I almost wanted to believe it, but who are we kidding?

It's not my dream.  I felt like I was pretending to see it as my dream for the sake of not disappointing anyone.

Everyone in my family was excited for me, though, when I told them I was offered the job.  

You know, for once, I would like to know how it feels -- to be really excited -- rather than watching others be excited for me.  I thought I'd feel it with the Chicago Marathon, or with the trip to Japan last year, but honestly... I don't think I've felt genuine joy for a long time.  After almost 2 years of wandering in the woods, I still don't know what my destiny is, and I'm trying really hard to be honest with myself.

Karma has been good to me, lately.  =)  I have a great set of art projects for people, and I'm hopefully gonna have a couple exhibits.  Whether or not I accept this job with MATCH, I think I need to let go of my doubts and just see myself as capable to do anything.  I can always do art on the side.

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